1. Your dead.
Not quite. Cancer, it turns out, is only a CR 14 critter (unlike Eidolons & the Eyeless One). I am quite alive -- a little banged up -- but still my awesome chipper self.
2. You've been spending time at the strip clubs, sipping cognac and partaking of an widely illegal herb.
I wish that were the case. Life has been a bit traumatic -- with a lot of upheaval. As a side note, life, for once, oddly acted like RoE (NEW PLAYER HINT FOLLOWS)-- kicking you while your down (and if one is smart, never stopping).
But, I am scrappy and stood up.
3. I didn't miss yall.
Sadly no. Definitely missed all of you -- and finally pleased that my life is getting back in order.
4. We didn't miss you.
Yeah, right. 
Very happy to hear you're ok Alan. I'd only heard rumors from Bjørn and those were a bit scary.
For those of you who joined during the later stages of RoE 1 when I got a bit silent due to a overly hectic life, me and Harvey/Alan go "a long way back" in RoE terms. I guess he was my favorite and most annoying player packed into one "cute" package, as Bjørn put it. I blame Alan personally for a solid portion of my gray hair - I'll post a picture some time to show you guys what a few turns of diplomacy with Alan can do to a 29-year old guy...
Anyway, I registered basically to say hi to Alan. Even mentioned that RoE 2 would be starting up, I haven't checked the RoE 1 forum in ages so I had no idea this community was still alive. Right now I won't apply for a domain. I will, however, have a look at the available domains and do a bit of soul-searching to see if I have the time/motivation to tackle the verbal masturbation that is your "diplomatic" emails

. There is still a few blonde hairs left on my head, so I might still have some fighting spirit in me...
Good to see that so many of you are still here though!
P.S. I see Alan is listed as a landed regent, any temples open in his area? I feel it's payback-time

I'm Bjorn's younger brother, but, due to my maturity and gravitas, some people naturally assume I'm the elder. I currently reside in Edinburgh, capital of Scotland, Athens of the North, and generally the town that must have the most dog shit on the streets.
Since when?