Insight to the norwegian way of life

[X-SASI/Orthien Tane (Rune)]

Since we're having the religious holiday of "Pinse" (whatever that is in english) this weekend, everybody except me has gone to their cabins or such - leaving me very very bored. And since yesterdays 6-hour cycling trip gave me such a sunburn that I don't even dare to go outside, I'm stuck prowling teh interwebs... here is something I stumbled across that might help the non-norwegians understand how the norwegian players and the DM in particular thinks:

(shamelessly copied from a post somewhere on Facebook)

You know you've been in Norway too long when...

§ You can't remember when to say, "please" and "excuse me".
§ You always prepare to catch the closing door, if following too close behind somebody.
§ You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler (preferentially enhanced by a crossed arms position).
§ You think that there is no such a thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
§ It seems nice to spend a week in a small wooden cottage up in the middle of nowhere, without running water or electricity.

§ You don't fall over when walking on ice.
§ It's acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00 and dinner at 15.00.
§ You know that religious holiday means, "let's get pissed".
§ You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than in the name of the wine.
§ You enjoy the taste of lutefisk and pinnekjoett.
§ You associate warm rice porridge with Saturday and Xmas.
§ You can prepare fish in five different ways, without cooking it.
§ You no longer think that it's unusual to squirt some paste out from a tube onto a slice of bread and call it lunch.

§ You wear sandals with socks.
§ When entering someone's house, and upon taking your shoes off, you no longer think that you are in Japan.
§ It feels natural to wear sports clothes and back pack to go to the cinema and everywhere else.
§ You think that women's handball is a "World class" sport.
§ You can't understand why foreigners have never heard about (skier) Bjorn Daehlie.
§ You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "koselig" (cosy).
§ It seems sensible that the age limit at Oslo night clubs is 23 or 25.

§ You find yourself debating the politics of Torbjørn Jagland.

§ You think cross-country skiing is the only *real* skiing.

§ You know at least five different words describing different kinds of snow.

§ The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is look for the queue number machine.

§ You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

§ A sharp intake of breath has become part of your active vocabulary.

§ You associate Friday afternoon with a trip to Vinmonopolet (State wine monopoly).

§ You think nothing of paying 150NOK for a bottle of 'cheap' spirits at Vinmonopolet. (US$1,- = NOK 7.50)

§ Your native language has seriously deteriorated; you "eat medicine" and "go and lay yourself".

§ You rummage through your plastic bottles collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to the recycle center.


§ Your front door step is beginning to resemble a shoe shop.

§ When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
-he is drunk;
-he is insane;
-he is American;
-he is all of the above.

§ Silence is fun. (!!!)

§ The reason you take the ferry to Denmark is:
-duty free vodka
-duty free beer
-to party

§ The only reason for getting of the boat in Copenhagen is to eat pizza.

§ It no longer seems excessive to spend 500NOK on alcohol in a single night.

§ You care who wins the "Hvem fanger sommerens stoerste fisk" contest. ("Who catches this summers largest fish")

§ Your old habit of being "fashionably late" is no longer acceptable.

§ You enjoy the taste of lutefisk. (A dish that ruins a perfectly good fish by turning it into something tasteless and jelly-like)

§ An outside temperature of 9 degrees Celsius is mild (in mid June).

§ You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank.

§ You think riding a racing bike in the snow is a perfectly sensible thing to do (with or without snowtires).

§ And finally, you start to believe that, if it wasn't for Norway's efforts the World would probably collapse pretty soon.

[X-IHH/Wallac Isilviere (Kasper)]

However it is worth mentioning that Norwegian language is the one that other Scandinavian understands the best beside their own native language.

I can imagine one sometimes gets enough of the above but I've always enjoyed my vacations in Norway 

[X-Medoere & RCS/KE (Thorsten)]

This would be more or less the same for Denmark (I picked this one up online as well... try and compare the results)  :

* You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.
* You think its normal to pick up a girl in a pub, walk her to her bike and ride with her back home.
* You understand why not every type of meat can be put together on top of bread.
* You think its impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.
* You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.
* You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.
* You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.
* You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer
* The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is to look for the queue number machine.
* You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.
* When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.

* Silence is fun.
* It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.
* You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".
* You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.
* The word "yes" is an intake of breath.
* You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank
* Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.
* You forget how to open canned beer.
* Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".
* You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.
* Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored sports jackets and lots of denim.
* You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.

*You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon.
* You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.
* It feels natural to wear sport clothes and a backpack everywhere.
* You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".
* You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING - including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives.
* You've completely forgotten what a "date" is - no one ever comes to pick you up and unexpected gifts are VERY unexpected.
* You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.
* You wouldn't dream of coming even 10 minutes early to a party. (Once around the block is always an alternative)
* You start to believe that Skåne, Halland and Bleking belongs to Denmark. You also want a big part of northern Germany, Greenland and Norway.

[X-DM Jon]

Wow! Denmark sounds like a nice place to live, maybe I should move there and find a girl with a bike 

[X-Bellam & BC/TB (Bobby)]

I've never had lutefisk, but I've heard of it several times.  I've also explained it to people several times, who invariably think I'm testing their gullibility.

[X-Hermedhie (Ronny)]

Well. Who in their right minds would believe you when you tell them that it's fish that has been lying in lye for 1 week. So it becomes all jelly-like and disgusting? (Lutefisk in english would be Lye fish )

[X-Mhoried/Droene Kavarra (Iasonas)]

A joke follows about my people  . It is a classic stereotype, that is sooo true...

British: “We have managed to reduce the length of time that it takes for workers to go from work to sitting with their families for dinner. They get off work at 5pm, they use our advanced Tube network, and by 5.30pm they are at home”.
Japanese: “We have done even better. Our bullet trains are so fast that our workers finish work at 9pm and by 9.20 they are at home for dinner with their families”.
Greek: “Ha! We finish work at 3pm but we are at home for lunch by 2.30pm” :-)

[X-Ilien & PCE/GeM (Linde)]

I'm from Denmark but I can not fully support this list.

This would be more or less the same for Denmark (I picked this one up online as well... try and compare the results)  :

* You think there is no such thing as bad weather, only bad clothing.

Mmmmm

* You think its normal to pick up a girl in a pub, walk her to her bike and ride with her back home.

ahhh.... no.. I would ask her to walk with me.

* You understand why not every type of meat can be put together on top of bread.

WTF!!! Heretical thinking here. Meats are made to be mixed!! On pizza, bread or other meat in lack of better.

* You think its impolite to sit next to someone in a bus if there is a bench where you can sit on your own.

It is not impolite It is an insult to sit next to someone regardless of wether there is a bench where you can sit alone!

* You go to the supermarket and buy three good beers and 10 not too good ones.

Why buy 3 good beers? 16 not too good ones last longer!

* You can open a beer bottle with almost anything.

Almost?

* You honestly believe that the distance between Copenhagen and Aalborg is long.

Longer than I would like to travel on a regular basis

* You can tell the difference between a Grøn Tuborg and a Carlsberg beer

How dare you call Carlsberg a beer?

* The first thing you do on entering a bank/post office/pharmacy etc. is to look for the queue number machine.

And that is the sensible thing to do. Add bakery, Docters office and Butcher to the list please.

* You accept that you will have to queue to take a queue number.

Again perfectly sensible.

* When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a. he is drunk;
b. he is insane;
c. he is American;
d. he is all of the above.

WTF. I smile to people on the street.... Then again I am half American.

* Silence is fun.

But music is more fun. Preferably Kim Larsen.

* It no longer seems excessive to spend 800 kr. on alcohol in a single night.

I think that would be a bit excessive unless you also get pizza ^_^

* You know that "religious holiday" means "let's get pissed".

It means the same as a soccer match in town: "People will get very drunk, so don't go outside unless it can't be avoided"

* You use "Mmmm" as conversation filler.

Mmmmm

* The word "yes" is an intake of breath.

Ehh?!?!? No!!

* You have only two facial expressions, smiling or blank

Angry, sad, annoyed, cheerful, glooming, beaming... and many many more...

* Traditional dinners may not necessarily mean a cooked meal.

What? It isn't cooking when you take a raw fish and marinade it untill its bones are chewable?

* You forget how to open canned beer.

I am a Dane, not a retard.... Then again I am half American.

* Can't remember when to say "please" and "excuse me".

I say that on a regular basis.

* You will leave a pub if you can't find a seat.

I'll leave a pub if it is crowded.
A pub is crowded if you have to look around to find an empty seat.

* Your wardrobe no longer has suits but blue shirts and mustard colored sports jackets and lots of denim.

I got suits! And lots of black t-shirts and denim.

* You don't mind paying the same for a 200-metre bus ride as you do for going 10 kms.

I mind! Stupid Zone system Movia have!

*You start to believe that if it weren't for Denmark's efforts, the world would probably collapse pretty soon.

*Shrugs*

* You find yourself more interested in the alcohol content than the name of the wine.

The name of the wine doesn't tell me as much about the taste as the alcohol content does.

* It feels natural to wear sport clothes and a backpack everywhere.

Nope.

* You know the meaning of life has something to do with the word "hyggelig".

The meaning of life might have something to do with the word "hyggelig" But I know it has something to do with "formering"

* You are very surprised when you receive compliments about ANYTHING - including your appearance/clothing! In fact when you do, you find it suspicious and start thinking they might have ulterior motives.

Nope. I am perfection incarnated. So compliments are only sensible.

* You've completely forgotten what a "date" is - no one ever comes to pick you up and unexpected gifts are VERY unexpected.

nope.

* You don't think it strange that no one ever comes by to visit without being invited and you never show up at any one's place unannounced either.

It is an insult to show up unannounced! But it is perfectly sensible to call to someone and invite yourself.

* You wouldn't dream of coming even 10 minutes early to a party. (Once around the block is always an alternative)

You would be comming unannounced for 10 minutes if you did that. It requires planning to be polite ^_^

* You start to believe that Skåne, Halland and Bleking belongs to Denmark. You also want a big part of northern Germany, Greenland and Norway.

Don't forget England, the Canary Islands and America..... And much more. But no need to give away our secret list of land rightfully belonging to the danish people before we have abolished our army. That way they will never suspect anything *Evil Laughter*

[X-Osoerde (Alan)]

You know you are American when....

§ European 'humor' is lost on you.

[X-EOM/SS (Marco)]

A joke follows about my people  . It is a classic stereotype, that is sooo true...

British: “We have managed to reduce the length of time that it takes for workers to go from work to sitting with their families for dinner. They get off work at 5pm, they use our advanced Tube network, and by 5.30pm they are at home”.
Japanese: “We have done even better. Our bullet trains are so fast that our workers finish work at 9pm and by 9.20 they are at home for dinner with their families”.
Greek: “Ha! We finish work at 3pm but we are at home for lunch by 2.30pm” :-)

A joke about My people, italians:

"Every morning in italy everyone goes to take the bus to go to work and everyone is late and the bus is leaving

1)in Milan people hurry themselves and run fast to catch the bus

2) in Rome people take it easy, walk calmly saying "I'm goint to take the next bus"

3) in Naples the bus driver waits until all of the people arrive

 

[X-Osoerde (Alan)]

I got one!!

A joke about Americans:

§ George W. Bush

[X-Coeranys/WD (Greg)]

I got one!!

A joke about Americans:

§ George W. Bush

Ah hah hah hah!  oh my! LOL! that's not only funny, that's
SAD!  ,
embarassing  ,
and just thinking about him makes me want to cry 

[DM B]

I got one!!

A joke about Americans:

§ George W. Bush

I remember me an Alan having several interesting MSN chats regarding this fellow...around the time of his re-election...

[X-Elinie/RiD (Niels)]

Yea, the whole "fool me once..."

"won't fool me twice..." never really took on Americans.