Suuuuuuuuure I didn't forget you 
Good!
Few free time so I'm only at page 80 today.
While reading, I write comments in the PDF doc.
Another good!
At first, two things surprised me:
- the use of second person singular ;
Yeah, regarding the 2nd person narrative I'm aware it is...quite unusual for a work of fiction. I'm not usually a big fan myself. Done wrong it can quickly alienate readers, not least because most readers are so fundamentally unused to it.
So why is it written that way?
Partly because we're all roleplayers - and GMs use the 2nd person narrative constantly with players. Partly as a sort of tribute to the Fighting Fantasy series of game books (which used 2nd person a lot - it was what got me into the hobby in the first place).
But mostly it's because it was hard to tell the story without using this technique. The dialogue between Haxtes and 'you' inside the tome has many layers and nuances (by the time you get to page 100 or so you'll understand what I mean). So I found it easier to completely differentiate by using the 2nd person with Interrogator Marcus. Yes, he has a name, and I'm guessing you'll find the 2nd person easier to swallow once he starts to develop a personality and background.
But still...this choice is one that I've mulled over a lot. And maybe I chose the wrong solution. But I don't think I have the time or the motivation to try to write it using 1st or 3rd person.
- the story told from an imaginary place in a book in the world of 40k in your book
This is my greatest worry; that the setup is too complex. The novel tries to interlace three different stories. The story of Marcus (which is the contemporary real-life story if you will - this part gets much more screen time as the story progresses), the dialogue between Marcus and Haxtes (which can be thought of as occurring either inside the tome - or perhaps inside Marcus' head), and finally it tells the tale of the life of Haxtes. Now there is very good reason why all three stories must be told, but it's both complex and unusual (and again this was the key reason for using 2nd person narrative).
But I like the plot and I really want to know more 
Pleasant reading so far !
A third good!
Btw: We also have a thread over at Dark Reign
http://darkreign.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=113&t=6057
