My word of wisdom of today would be to treat all regents in a similar manner. Just because you see them as further down the pecking order, they probably don't.
Oh indeed, the less the power the more tightly it is clutched. No one is more self important than the tinpot dictator with an ounce of power (think traffic wardens). But at the same time realpolitik rules and such people generally get very quiet around those far more powerful. The Countess was not totally outclassed in rank, and so particularly on her own turf could, and should, demand respect, but the captain certainly was out of his league and knew it...
It is certainly wrong to say 'I am king/High Priest/etc therefore I am right', but it is not wrong to say 'I am worthy of respect/fear and even when wrong people should tread softly'. Steering people around to your viewpoint is generally better than blatantly opposing them when they out rank you - at the very least you goad them into social disgrace and thus gain some social protection from their later wrath by being 'the reasonable one'.
Of course when players deal with their superiors (Avan , Boeruine, etc) they should remember the above doubly so - respect will be demanded and insolence punished one way or the other...
Am I the only one thinking that Baron Kaven outranks the Countess in this matter? Of course it is HER land, and so far he has shown HER respect. It is the soldiers and their response that ranks me, especially when the Baron states that he INTENDS to speak to her later.
Both the Countess and the Baron serve the same man. Ilien and Medoere is both technically a part of Diemeds demesne, and thus, (especially when giving orders backed by the Archduke) it is assumable that people at the very least respond with confusion, hesitation etc. instead of going hostile.
Add to that, that the RCS holds almost half the alotted number of temples in the province, and you have a 44% probability (on average) that each guardsman acting in a hostile manner toward the head of the RCS is a Ruornite... And as a last addendum, the Baron also holds a fraction of the Law in the land (Not much, but then one ninth of 200.000 people is quite a bit, if you think in those lines). It just adds up to complete nonsense for me. And the countess is sure to hear for it.