Author Topic: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)  (Read 3844 times)

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Offline DM B

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Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« on: November 14, 2013, 08:50:47 PM »
As you might (or not) be aware I'm writing a 40k novel. More specifically a Dark Heresque (fun word!) novel. It's fan-faction, so it will only be available in a digital format.

I originally intended for it to be a rather long book, but I recently decided to split in two. Two relatively short novels (80-85k words) instead of one longish. I decided to do this not least because of logistics - I tend to get stuck endlessly reworking bits and pieces of the first half rather than completing the second. So splitting it story in half makes sense; otherwise it would take ages before I'm done. Were it a 'real' novel (i.e. I would actually have time to write and get paid for my troubles) I would still have preferred for it to be one volume, but wishes and fishes and all that.



The novel is pretty much done. Only some tweaking require to make it stand on its own now that its been split in half. I'm guessing about two weeks and I'll be done with the final draft. Leaving December for editing and proofreading and a launch this side of 2014.

So where do you come in? I'm looking for editors and proofreaders to have a go at it. Any feedback - from spelling errors via poor grammar to errors and inconsistencies - is highly appreciated.

I cannot offer much on terms of compensation; a honourable mention is all. For Anathema players I can also offer some stat points as compensation; 1 point for a worthwhile effort, possibly more (3 tops) if you really help make it better.

If you're interested, please chime into this thread and state what you can contribute with.
« Last Edit: April 29, 2014, 09:35:25 AM by DM B »
DM Bjørn

Offline Ohlaak (Alan)

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #1 on: November 18, 2013, 07:08:21 PM »
I can help proofread, Bjorn. I actually did a bit of this in my heyday (my parents are professors and believe in child-labor and family bonding time)

Offline DM B

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2013, 01:52:01 PM »
And DONE! The draft is finally DONE!!!

Ahahahahahahaha!!!
DM Bjørn

Offline Dragon Lord

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #3 on: November 20, 2013, 01:26:47 AM »
Sorry Bjorn, I've read the first 12 chapters you posted up at Dark Reign, but I'm deep in writing my PhD thesis at the moment, so I don't have any time for more proof-reading!

Offline DM B

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #4 on: November 20, 2013, 11:34:15 AM »
Sorry Bjorn, I've read the first 12 chapters you posted up at Dark Reign, but I'm deep in writing my PhD thesis at the moment, so I don't have any time for more proof-reading!

NP! You've already given me a valuable bit of feedback; re. how Interrogator Marcus appears. He now comes across as more secure and competent, while still remaining somewhat young and cocky. He also gets more screen time so to speak so we get to know him better. Overall a great improvement IMO.
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Offline DM B

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #5 on: November 20, 2013, 08:27:22 PM »
And, after another 8 hours of work on what I thought was the final draft: The final draft has been completed. 

I'll now send it to some select people for proofreading, editing and general feedback.

Once they reply and I have time to do whatever fixes are required the novel will be published.

I don't know exactly how long, but I'm thinking well before X-mas.
DM Bjørn

Offline LordPsycho

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #6 on: November 22, 2013, 04:18:57 PM »
Yeaaaaaah, congratulation  8)

I'd really enjoy reading your final draft, quite busy these days but I hope that I may find some time  :D

This one ? http://www.darkreign.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=113&t=6057&hilit=dark+omega#p136698
"Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a thousand battles without disaster." Sun Tzu

"No campaign plan survives first contact with the enemy" C. von Clausewitz

"You are a ghost, a figure that stands between light and dark, trapped amid the grey." Malcador the Sigillite

Offline DM B

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #7 on: November 22, 2013, 04:45:59 PM »
Yeaaaaaah, congratulation  8)

I'd really enjoy reading your final draft, quite busy these days but I hope that I may find some time  :D

This one ? http://www.darkreign.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=113&t=6057&hilit=dark+omega#p136698

That's not really the final draft after all :-D

The final draft has 30-something chapters and is a bit more evolved.

I can e-mail it to you if you'd like to read it. And feedback is appreciated.
DM Bjørn

Offline LordPsycho

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #8 on: November 22, 2013, 10:31:24 PM »
Yeah it would be a pleasure !

=> lordpsycho666 gmail

Thx
"Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a thousand battles without disaster." Sun Tzu

"No campaign plan survives first contact with the enemy" C. von Clausewitz

"You are a ghost, a figure that stands between light and dark, trapped amid the grey." Malcador the Sigillite

Offline DM B

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #9 on: December 21, 2013, 01:17:49 PM »
Ahem...some actual feedback would be nice. Either posted here or by chat/e-mail/whatever. I'll start working on the final version early January, so before that would be nice.
DM Bjørn

Offline LordPsycho

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #10 on: December 21, 2013, 09:10:05 PM »
Suuuuuuuuure I didn't forget you  ;)

Few free time so I'm only at page 80 today.
While reading, I write comments in the PDF doc.

At first, two things surprised me:
- the use of second person singular ;
- the story told from an imaginary place in a book in the world of 40k in your book

But I like the plot and I really want to know more  :D
Pleasant reading so far !
"Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a thousand battles without disaster." Sun Tzu

"No campaign plan survives first contact with the enemy" C. von Clausewitz

"You are a ghost, a figure that stands between light and dark, trapped amid the grey." Malcador the Sigillite

Offline DM B

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Re: Dark Omega - A Warhammer 40k novel (editors/proofreaders wanted)
« Reply #11 on: December 22, 2013, 10:22:51 AM »
Suuuuuuuuure I didn't forget you  ;)

Good! :)

Few free time so I'm only at page 80 today.
While reading, I write comments in the PDF doc.

Another good!

At first, two things surprised me:
- the use of second person singular ;

Yeah, regarding the 2nd person narrative I'm aware it is...quite unusual for a work of fiction. I'm not usually a big fan myself. Done wrong it can quickly alienate readers, not least because most readers are so fundamentally unused to it.

So why is it written that way?

Partly because we're all roleplayers - and GMs use the 2nd person narrative constantly with players. Partly as a sort of tribute to the Fighting Fantasy series of game books (which used 2nd person a lot - it was what got me into the hobby in the first place).

But mostly it's because it was hard to tell the story without using this technique. The dialogue between Haxtes and 'you' inside the tome has many layers and nuances (by the time you get to page 100 or so you'll understand what I mean). So I found it easier to completely differentiate by using the 2nd person with Interrogator Marcus. Yes, he has a name, and I'm guessing you'll find the 2nd person easier to swallow once he starts to develop a personality and background.

But still...this choice is one that I've mulled over a lot. And maybe I chose the wrong solution. But I don't think I have the time or the motivation to try to write it using 1st or 3rd person.

- the story told from an imaginary place in a book in the world of 40k in your book
This is my greatest worry; that the setup is too complex. The novel tries to interlace three different stories. The story of Marcus (which is the contemporary real-life story if you will - this part gets much more screen time as the story progresses), the dialogue between Marcus and Haxtes (which can be thought of as occurring either inside the tome - or perhaps inside Marcus' head), and finally it tells the tale of the life of Haxtes. Now there is very good reason why all three stories must be told, but it's both complex and unusual (and again this was the key reason for using 2nd person narrative).

But I like the plot and I really want to know more  :D
Pleasant reading so far !

A third good!

Btw: We also have a thread over at Dark Reign

http://darkreign.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=113&t=6057
DM Bjørn